2/52 A Year of Family Home Evenings

Hey Friends,

Have you heard of the term family home evening or FHE for short? If you haven't, it's actually a program by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that was introduced decades ago to help strengthen families. Family Homes Evenings by the church are usually held every Monday but now, we are encouraged to hold it any day that works best for the family. In these evenings, we spend time together, share our thoughts, play together, sing together--simply, be present together. Refreshments can be offered at the end but they are not always part of the program.

I love FHEs. Growing up, my parents weren't consistent having FHE but I do remember most of the ones we did hold. I remember my dad's lesson about life, time, and love using a paper plane. I can still remember the time we had bisuto or prawn crackers and juice for refreshments that our mom cooked after the FHE. I remeber a lot of the games we played: 7Up, Sinong Kumuha ng Itlog sa Garapon, Pinoy Henyo, and Makinilya, Mantikilya, Marikina. Oh, how I miss those days with my family. Those were simpler times. Writing this, I miss my siblings even more.

I want Qelton to have memories of Family Home Evenings. And though he is still a baby at present, practicing consistency now will make sticking to this resolution a lot easier in the years ahead. So, this year, I have a goal of holding 52 FHEs and to fortify my commitment, I had Jasper, my husband, to commit to this challenge with me. I told my husband that we must hold FHE no matter what, even when we are in the middle of a fight, come Sunday evening, we will hold it.

Family Home Evening Miracles

I was 19 years old when I served a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I returned home at 21. In the span of less than 2 years, I've met countless families. And I haven't seen a family that didn't enjoy Family Home Evening. No, not one!

There was an FHE we held at a home where the mother and father were uninterested with hearing about Jesus Christ, or religion for that matter. Their children were always enthusiastic whenever we sat down with them and taught them about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, about the Plan of Salvation, or when we read from the Book of Mormon. Their parents would be there, but they don't participate and would just sit there without meeting our gaze. Then, one day, we asked if we could hold a Family Home Evening. We explained how it would be different from our usual lessons. They agreed. There were no refreshments after but there was definitely laughter. We played games. I remember we sang I Will Go and Do because the young ones loved that song since they learned it from their cousins who were already members of the Church. And for the first time since we visited this family, I saw their mother and father smile. They saw their children happy. I felt warm inside. Isn't that what we all want for our families? We want to be closer. We want joy in the home. We want love.

Pandemic, Phone, and Cats That Explode

I believe I forgot this fact for a while: Family Home Evenings need not be complicated. During the pandemic, I was still serving a full-time mission in Nueva Ecija. Our mission was among the last ones to access smartphones. We had type phones (Nokia 32-10s) which we used to contact people we teach and members of the church. We were also allowed to call home for a limited time. I had this funny idea to play Pinoy Henyo along with FHE over the phone. It turned out to be one of the most brilliant ideas I've ever had.

When playing Pinoy Henyo, we play in teams. Two players have to guess the word that's assigned to them. Say, Player 1 is the one who gets to ask questions. This person can only narrow down categories to guess the assigned word. Player 2 knows the word but can only answer Yes (Oo), No (Hindi), and Maybe (Pwede). The game could go like this:

Assigned word: Adobo

Player 1: Tao? (Person?)

Player 2: Hindi (NO)

Player 1: Bagay? (Thing?)

Player 2: Hindi (NO)

Player 1: Pagkain? (Food?)

Player 2: Oo (Yes)

Player 1: Adobo

Easy right? If Player 1 asks the right questions and Player 2 catches on if Player 1 is getting nearer or farther to the assigned word, this game is as easy as it gets. But it's super fun to play.

We played Pinoy Henyo with the families we taught and we had this unbreakable rule: NO CHEATING! We had no way to know for sure if the team on the other line cheated, or looked at the assigned word we sent as a text message but we just had to trust that they didn't and we all genuinely enjoyed the game.

Another instance that taught me that FHEs are best being simple was when my husband and I still lived in the first apartment we rented. I was used to having FHEs in big groups or with my parents and siblings, consisting of five people, including myself. That may not be much of a crowd but our family is so loud, you'd think we had more than 10 people in the house. But that time, it was just me and Jasper. It was odd initially, but we opened up to the idea pretty soon. We played Exploding Kittens and we had tons of fun together. This may come off as too cheesy, but I did feel more in love with my husband after that even when I got the card with the exploding kitten.

Sharing the Fun

Jasper and I had new-found friends in the ward. They lived only a block from us so we hiked for a bit when they invited us to their home for a Family Home Evening. My husband and I brought food that we cooked together and our couple friends also prepared food. We played Monopoly and Exploding Kittens. We talked a lot about culture, family, food, even politics. I can feel our bond being strengthened as we shared the fun of Family Home Evening. By the end of the visit, the husband told us that it was his wife's first time participating in an FHE. I really appreciated that they invited us to such a milestone. I hope we can have more FHEs with them, as well as with other friends.

I believe FHE has the power to make people feel that they belong and strengthen bonds with one another. I'm quite a sentimental person. If you ask me, friendship is such a delicate topic for me. I take friendship seriously and I think that puts a lot of people off. I will write a different blog post on this topic but I want to say one thing connected to this, I felt a deeper bond with these new friends after our Family Home Evening together. We shared meaningful experiences and we genuinely enjoyed each others' company. Family Home Evening can also be an avenue to connect more deeply with other people.

Mom, Dad, and Qelton's FHEs

This Sunday is our second FHE of the year and we are so happy to hold it as a family of three. On our first Family Home Evening, Qelton had a milestone--he laughed (good thing Jasper took a video of it). His laughter was contagious. I volunteered to give the lesson last Sunday. My lesson was inspired by what I learned during the Spark Session with Ali Abdaal (I'll share this too in another blog post). On our second FHE, Jasper taught about service and how we can recognize God in the people we serve.

I'm so excited for the FHEs that will follow. I'll be sharing more on this.

I hope your family can try FHEs too. Or maybe you've already made it your family's tradition. What will you do this year to strengthen your family's bond? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas. I think it would be fun to learn about them and maybe try some of each other's traditions.

Till next time!

Aya💖

our little family