My Long-time Relationship with YouTube

This illustration is not mine. Downloaded from Pinterest.

If I'm not mistaken, I started making uploading videos on YouTube when I was 17 or 18. At the time, I was drunk with the thought that I could be big. I felt awkward and at the same time free when I talked in front of the camera. My last year as a senior in high school was filled with anxiety and regret. I rarely felt like myself. But when I made videos for YouTube, I felt really happy. I didn't know anything about editing, but I watched countless videos for tips and it was so magical to me how I could zoom into my face, add sound effects, create a slow-mo effect, add texts on the background, and so many other things. Though I was inconsistent with posting, I consistently watched YouTubers and kept wishing I'd be big just like them. Watching my old videos, I want to cringe. I was this socially awkward girl with braces and I feel like I'm not making any sense. But I appreciate that girl so much too.

My love affair with YouTube is on and off. Now that I'm turning 25 this year, I made another promise to myself and that is to post one video on YouTube every month. It doesn't have to be grand or take a lot of time to edit. A simple song would do (but, of course, it must be done as nicely as possible). I plan to be more consistent as the years go by.

Overall, there are 21 videos on my YouTube channel. I made some thumbnails in Canva for the videos but not all of them have banners so I'll have to work on that too. I'm still finding my style. I'm so happy that my husband is very willing to be my videographer. Recently, I bought a cheap ring light from TikTok. It's only over a hundred pesos but it's tall. However, the neck is quite weak so it can't handle carrying a heavy phone or camera. But still, Jasper made it work. I think this ring light is so worth it. I used it as a lampshade many times too.

Why can't I give up YouTube? Right now, I'm not dreaming of monetizing at all. I just want to do it for myself now. I want to look back and watch myself 5 or 10 years from now. I might just cringe again or feel second-hand embarrassment, but I think it's worth it.

Here's my plan so I'll achieve my goals.

1. List down the content I want to make

2. Film. Don't overthink it. Just do it.

3. Edit. Don't be lazy. Ask husband for help if it becomes too much. Don't spiral into anxiety. People won't judge you. Your future self will thank you.

4. Post. Also, try to advertise it to people who you think will benefit from or enjoy watching your videos. Don't be too conscious. People are supportive. Keep that in mind.

5. Celebrate your small wins!

Here are some of my ideas:

1. My 2024 daily schedule

2. L-O-V-E song cover

3. Daddy's birthday

4. Life as an online student

5. Talk about something you are passionate about (gratitude, learning, trying to be consistent)

6. Instructional videos--maybe about ESL, virtual assistance, and job hunting

7. Cooking videos

8. Meditation video

9. Q&A video

10. Moments with my husband

11. Writing Family History

12. Showing my journals

I think all of these videos are great for documenting who I am as a person. I'll leave an update if I ever get to finish filming everything.

Note: I promised one student I'd post a cover of Hana wa saku on my YouTube channel. Better get that out there before February comes knocking.