What Writing Was Like For Me Then Versus Now

Illustration not mine. All rights reserved to the artist. I got this from Pinterest.

There were many thoughts going on inside my head that I found it hard to go back to sleep mode. I just recently went back to writing. I remember when I was in high school, I wrote so many articles for the school publication. Our newspaper was called THE RIZALITE. I was the science feature writer and so I had to do some research first before I could write anything.

I wish I'd kept my clippings from all the school publications I wrote for. Our family moved so much when I was a kid that I had to let go of so many things. But the experiences I had writing as an official member of the org is etched in my mind and heart.

I've always thought I was good at writing. But now, I'm not so sure anymore. I work two jobs. In my other job as an Executive Virtual Assistant, I write emails and proposals a lot. This is the latest feedback I got from my boss: "Sometimes, your writing is obsequious and overly floral -- it's not concrete enough or doesn't quire make sense." I've received several feedback that I didn't like and still, I tried to deliver. But I think there's an unlimited number of wrongs I could do in this job. I can't keep up at times.

Though I'm not as confident with my writing now, I promise to continue to write. I'm starting with the basics again. In the past, I'd always write on paper first and then type on a computer. I think it's better that way because I can edit and revise as I go.

So many technologies were developed to improve writing, but I feel like Grammarly and auto-correct just pulls me down. Grammarly keeps giving me ideas, I feel like mine is not quite good enough. I turned off Grammarly for an hour while I write this article. The lines make me anxious.

Since becoming an adult, writing articles stopped being fun. It has become a chore for me. I had bills to pay after all. My first job ever was writing 2000-word articles about cars. I had to research and then write. There's not much difference between being a science feature writer and a writing for a start-up company's website. The only difference is that, I couldn't see my name anywhere. I was a ghostwriter. And so, writing was my business. I didn't have to be good at it. The words don't need to flow beautifully, they just have to be informative, marketable, and they must meet the SEO requirements. However, I never was fond of writing this way. Yes, I do my research since I write about science, but my writing always had emotions. It's a feature after all. It has to have heart.

I'm happy I could write like this again here. I really need a safe space for my thoughts. I will continue to try to improve writing for my blog and writing professionally (the one I do for the money). But I want to keep my heart.

Love,

Aya