Watching K-Dramas with my Husband is My New Pastime

My husband and I are in each other's space 24/7. We live under the same roof and we work from home so naturally, we may tire of spending time together. However, I wouldn't mind having extra time with my husband rather than spending hours and hours working in front of my laptop. This month, we started watching K-dramas again. Usually, I watch on my own but my husband would occasionally look over what I'm watching and when he finds it interesting, he'll ask to watch with me. I find this simple gesture of his quite sweet.

Here's a list of K-dramas we finished together and the date when we finished them

• The Glory (2023)

• Moving (2023)

• Twinkling Watermelon (2023)

• Celebrity (2023)

• Daily Dose of Sunshine (2024)

• My Demon (2024)

We're watching an ongoing K-drama titled "Marry My Husband". It's so funny when we both scream and squeal during swoon-worthy moments or in Filipino, we call it "kilig moments". While watching, we can't help but think how these celebrities could control themselves from falling in love with their on-screen partners. "Episode 1 palang, in love na ako", my husband said (Episode 1 and I'm already in love). I laughed in agreement. This is why we're not cut out for being celebrities.

My husband and I have been married for more than a year now. Time went by so quickly and so slowly at the same time if you know what I mean. We still have a lot to learn. I know married life is different for everyone. Our marriage is far from perfect but I can say, it's one of the greatest decisions I made in my life. My husband is my best friend. Yes, we do fight. But when we makeup, we easily forget what we fought about to begin with. With him, it's easy for me to laugh, to cry, and I know this ain't positive, but I find it so easy to complain to my husband. Tell him what annoyed me.

While we were watching K-drama today, I realized something and shared it with him. Almost all the problems in these dramas happen because the protagonists don't share what's going on with each other. They might withhold a piece of information in order not to hurt the other but turns out, they hurt them even more. I think this goes to show how honesty is a crucial part of relationships. And most problems can be prevented if we are just honest and talk it out with our loved ones.

But as always, it's easier said than done. It's easier to mask the truth instead of admitting our flaws and weaknesses. It's cruel but at the beginning of our courtship, when I felt like I wanted Jasper's (my husband, and then boyfriend) attention, I stopped messaging him for hours. Yes, I got what I wanted. He would message me sick with worry about what was going on. As time went on, I realized this was a bad habit that I must break. This is a person I loved and no means I devise must be directed to hurt his feelings. I started being honest with him. When I wanted time, I'd ask for it. When I wanted attention, I'd tell him directly. When I'm angry, I tell him why. Many times, I trace the root of my negative emotions and the roots are silly. Maybe I was hungry or tired. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep. Maybe I didn't feel comfortable and I needed to take a bath already. Small things like these ensure chaos when left unchecked.

This doesn't mean that our communication is perfect. But there's always room for improvement, right? Becoming an honest person after being immature and unreasonable for a long time is quite the challenge but I don't mind the process. I'm stumbling forward as I go and I know my husband is doing the same.

The other day, my brother asked me about dating and marriage. He asked if I had things I didn't like about his Kuya Dodong (this is what my brother calls my husband) when we were dating and what I did about them. I told him, well, I found so many things I didn't like and I'm sure he also saw things he didn't like about me, and until now, even after marriage, we continue to discover things we dislike. My brother's face showed confusion. Why did we get married then if there were so many things we didn't like? I told him, simple. Compromise. We don't marry perfection. We marry potential (Red flags are a different story?). And even though my husband had a lot of traits that annoy me, he also has so many things about him that I adore and love. We cannot change anyone but ourselves. It's one of the hardest pills to swallow. Marriage doesn't mean owning the other person and doing with him or her as we please. Marriage, at least for me, is loving the other person despite who he or she is, and also despite ourselves.